eKara B.f
Call Me, Beep Me: (972) XXX –
XXXX
Or I guess email works too:
magicallydelicious09@yahoo.com
Objective
GIVE ME A JERB!!!!!!!!!! Plz?
Education
Vanderbilt Univ.,
May 2013 (unless my roommate or my homework kills me first)
· Bachelor(ette) in Dicking
Around on the Internet, Concentration in Social Media and GIF-Based Websites
· Double Minor in:
o
Ray-bans
and When to Wear Them
o
Reliving
Study Abroad Memories Way Past Their Expiration Date
Study Abroad
Univ., What Semester Was It Again I Forget 201(?)
· Coursework in:
o
Traveling
o
Hitchhiking
and Other Forms of Public Transportation Only Acceptable Abroad
o
More
Traveling
o
Wait….
What’s Class?
Acquired Skills:
· Picking out the
appropriate emoji for *any* situation
· Alcohol tolerance
· Wearing leggings as pants
AND TOTALLY PULLING THEM OFF DEAL WITH IT
· Fruit Ninja Arcade Mode,
Combo God
· Scheduling classes around
my sleep schedule (and still being tired 24/7)
Work
Experience
Someone’s
got jokes. I like that. No but really I didn’t do much of anything in my
minimum-wage high school job and/or internship that I can spin in a positive
light so please God don’t ask me about it. I have a LinkedIn page, does that
count for anything?
Activities
and Interests
Alcohol,
Long Walks on the Beach, More Gun Control, Stan (…and World Peace), Drinking 5+
Dr Peppers a day, Saying I just went for a run but instead eating chocolate
chip cookie dough, Using quotes from Mean
Girls and assorted YouTube videos in my everyday jargon, Oversized watches,
Oversized t-shirts, Instagram, Pumpkin spice lattes, Instagrams of pumpkin
spice lattes, Wheedling my parents for more money, Talking about how much I
miss home until I go there then talking about how I can’t wait to get back to
school, Rationalizing going downtown on a Tuesday, Brainstorming new and witty
tweets to send throughout the day, and dorm twin XL beds (LOLZ JK!!)
---
And since it was already stuck in your head for the next 7.3 days anyways, my gift to you: Christina Millian at the peak of her career.