Call Me, Beep Me: (972) XXX – XXXX
Or I guess email works too: firstname.lastname@example.org
GIVE ME A JERB!!!!!!!!!! Plz?
Vanderbilt Univ., May 2013 (unless my roommate or my homework kills me first)
· Bachelor(ette) in Dicking Around on the Internet, Concentration in Social Media and GIF-Based Websites
· Double Minor in:
o Ray-bans and When to Wear Them
o Reliving Study Abroad Memories Way Past Their Expiration Date
Study Abroad Univ., What Semester Was It Again I Forget 201(?)
· Coursework in:
o Hitchhiking and Other Forms of Public Transportation Only Acceptable Abroad
o More Traveling
o Wait…. What’s Class?
· Picking out the appropriate emoji for *any* situation
· Alcohol tolerance
· Wearing leggings as pants AND TOTALLY PULLING THEM OFF DEAL WITH IT
· Fruit Ninja Arcade Mode, Combo God
· Scheduling classes around my sleep schedule (and still being tired 24/7)
Someone’s got jokes. I like that. No but really I didn’t do much of anything in my minimum-wage high school job and/or internship that I can spin in a positive light so please God don’t ask me about it. I have a LinkedIn page, does that count for anything?
Activities and Interests
Alcohol, Long Walks on the Beach, More Gun Control, Stan (…and World Peace), Drinking 5+ Dr Peppers a day, Saying I just went for a run but instead eating chocolate chip cookie dough, Using quotes from Mean Girls and assorted YouTube videos in my everyday jargon, Oversized watches, Oversized t-shirts, Instagram, Pumpkin spice lattes, Instagrams of pumpkin spice lattes, Wheedling my parents for more money, Talking about how much I miss home until I go there then talking about how I can’t wait to get back to school, Rationalizing going downtown on a Tuesday, Brainstorming new and witty tweets to send throughout the day, and dorm twin XL beds (LOLZ JK!!)
And since it was already stuck in your head for the next 7.3 days anyways, my gift to you: Christina Millian at the peak of her career.